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Jokes Home : Bar : New & Improved Gong Show
Two buddies, Tony and Billy, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Billy throws up all over himself. "Oh, no. Now Jane will kill me!"
Tony says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket, tell Jane that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill." So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually, Billy rolls into home and his Jane starts to give him a bad time. "You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, he says: "Nowainaminit,I can e'splain everything! Itsh not what you think. I only had a couple drinks. But this other guy got sick on me... he'd had one too many and he just couldn't hold his liquor. He said he was very sorry an' gave me $20 bucks for the cleaning bill!"
Jane looks in the breast pocket and says: "But this is forty bucks."
"Oh, yeah... I almos' forgot" says Billy, "he crapped in my pants, too....!!"
He never saw the frying pan, but vaguely remembers hearing a gong.
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