A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly
being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "Go do something to prove them
wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?"
The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The
next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all
indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state
capitals!"
The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the
Capital of Montana?"
The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were waiting to see
their obstetrician. Trying to make conversation, the brunette said, "I'm going to
have a boy. I'm sure of it because I was on top."
The redhead said, "I know I'm going to have a girl. I'm sure because I was on the
bottom."
The blonde suddenly burst into tears.The other women tried to comfort her and asked what
was wrong. "I think I'm going to have puppies," she sobbed.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just dyed her hair.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Hump-me Dump-me.
Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
Q: What's a brunette's mating call?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?
Q: Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. on their shirts?
A: Tits Go In Front.
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: Introduces herself.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilized.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex!
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: What's a lightbulb?
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde
are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a
smart blonde.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?
A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6
months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
At a pharmacy, a BLONDE woman asked to use the infant scale to
weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for
repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby
together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second
amount from the first. "It won't work," countered the woman. "I'm not the
mother, I'm the aunt."
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer
peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting.
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!"
"No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
A blonde woman walks into a store. She is rather curious about a particular shiny object
so she asks what it is.
The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."
The blonde then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk replies, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."
The amazed blonde decides she just has to have one so she buys the thermos.
The next day, she brings her new purchase to work with her. Her boss notices the shiny
object and questions, "What have you got there?"
"It's a thermos," replies the blonde.
"I realize that," replies the boss, "but what's in it?"
The blonde explains, "Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."
This Blonde walks into the doctors office with red ears,
The doctor asks, "Oh my gosh what happened to your ears?"
The blonde said " I was ironing and the phone rang and I accidentally put the iron up
to my ears!"
In disbelief the doctor asked " What happened to the other ear?"
The blonde said, " The damn Son of A Bitch called back again!"
