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Jokes Home : Family : Jewish Father
A Jewish father, Moishe, got a call from his eldest son, Yitzak, who told him, "Father, I am going to marry!"
Moishe actually danced with joy. "Tell me, is she a good Jewish girl? What's her name?"
"O'Brien," replied the son. "She's Catholic."
"Oy!" said the father. "But are you happy, my son?"
"I'm happy," said the son.
"Okay, as long as you're happy. My blessings to you both."
Now the father was counting more than ever on his remaining sons, Schlemiel and Chutzpah, to give him Jewish grandsons.
The next evening, Schlemiel called his father. "I, too, will soon be married, Father."
Again Moishe broke out into a dance and sang God's praises. "Pray, what is her name?" he asked.
"Kazalopodopolous," replied the son. "She's Greek Orthodox."
"Oy!" cried Moishe. "But are you happy?"
"I'm very happy, Father."
"Okay. Then you, too, have my blessing," Moishe declared.
Dejected, Moishe went to the temple to pray. "Please, God, let my remaining son, Chutzpah, marry a nice Jewish girl, to raise nice Jewish children in Your eyes . . . please!"
The next day, Chutzpah came to his father in quite a state. "Father! I am to wed in the spring!"
"Her name? What is her name?" his father immediately demanded.
"Goldberg!" replied Chutzpah.
Moishe was beside himself with joy. He leapt into the air and shouted, "Praise God! Praise the Prophets!" When he calmed down sufficiently, he asked Chutzpah, "Is she Dr. Goldberg's daughter Shelley, from Newark?"
"No," replied Chutzpah.
"Hmm. Must be Attorney General Goldberg's daughter Rachel, from Hollywood."
"Ah, no, Father," Chutzpah again responded.
"Well then, what is her first name, my youngest, truest, most beautiful son?"
"Whoopi," Chutzpah replied.
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