How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that
that new bulb is shipping with a virus.
How many IBM programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to write the specifications of the light bulb and
socket, one to review and approve them, one to
actually change the light bulb, one to check if the
bulb has been screwed in properly, one to do live
testing by flipping the switch ON and five more to
certify that it will keep glowing even in the next
millennium.
How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes 6000 Russian troops to make sure he doesn't go on strike.
How many valley girls does it take to change a light bulb?
Oooh, like manual labor? Gag me with a spoon! Fer shure!
How many Wharton MBAs does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, if you hire me. I can actually change the light bulb by myself. As you can see from my resume,
I've had extensive experience changing light bulbs in my previous positions. I've also been named to the
Wharton Light Bulb list, and am presently a teaching assistant for Light Bulb Management 666. My only
weakness is that I'm compulsive about changing light bulbs in my spare time.
What did the lightbulb say to the fuse?
That's a blow!
How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.
Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity
that powers it.
How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None 'o yo' fuckin' business! OR
50. 50? Yeah 50; its in the contract.
How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.
How many people from Chicago does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness.
How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?
10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
How many strong does it take to screw in a light bulb?
115. One to hold the bulb and 114 to rotate the house.
How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It turned itself in.
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
It only takes one to change your bulb...to his.
Lawyers don't change bulbs. Now if you're looking for someone to really screw a bulb...
How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?
The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
