|
|
JOKES PLAZA | LIGHT BULB JOKES 2
Light Bulb Jokes
How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. There never was any light bulb.
How many cabbage patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?
How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.OR
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. That's a hardware problem.OR
One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down.OR
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a software problem.OR
None. They just have marketing portray the dead bulb as a feature.
How many FSE's (Field Service Engineers) does it take to replace a dead light bulb?
Who can tell. FSE's are always in the dark.OR
2. One to hold the bulb and one to pound it in (etc)
How long will it take?
That's indeterminate. It depends on how many dead bulbs they've brought with them.
What if you have two dead bulbs?
They replace your fuse box.
How many Unix hackers does it take to change a light bulb?
As many as you want; they're all virtual, anyway.
How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. There's a primitive for that.
How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).OR
Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a
planning session.OR
Three. One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number of one of their subordinates to actually
change it.
How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.OR
None of your damn business!
How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. (``That's all right...I'll just sit here in the dark...'')
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?
1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need
light bulbs again.
How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.
How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next
10,000 years.
|
|
