1.The
day after you buy the fastest new modem, they will change the standard so that your modem
can only talk to modems of the same brand (only 100 of which were ever sold).
2.The factory will ship the wrong manual with your modem and you will spend hours finding
and setting dip switches that aren't even on your modem.
3.However the modem comes set from the factory, it will be the WRONG way to work on your
machine.
4.No matter what solution you devise to fix a problem with your modem, it will lead to the
creation of at least four other problems.
5.Whenever a caller has problems using the BBS, the user will insist the problem is on the
sysop's side and the sysop will insist the problem is on the caller's side.
6.If you fail to follow the advice of more experienced modemers and use the same password
on every BBS you call, someone will steal your password and make lewd comments about the
sysop's mother on the boards you WERE on.
7.If you DO follow the advice of more experienced modemers and use a totally different
password on every BBS you call, you will forget the password of the board where your date
has left a message telling you where to meet them tonight.
8.Your spouse, who rarely visits you at your computer, will stop by at the exact moment
you've receive a flirtatious page from another user...You REALLY have never chatted with
them before!
9.You will always forget to disable call waiting when connected to a pay-by-the-minute
BBS.
10.A truely great BBS is either illegal, immoral, or long distance from you.
11.If a file takes more than 30 minutes to download, someone in your house will pick up
the phone within the last 15 seconds.
12.No matter how neutral the topic, your message will offend SOMEONE.
13.The first time you forget to scan your file downloads for viruses will be the first
time in your life you'll actually get a virus.
