• Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

• It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

• After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

• A pat on the back is only a few centimeters away from a kick in the butt.

• The more crap that you put up with, the more crap you're going to get.

• You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

• When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

• If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit - No sense in being a complete fool about it.

• Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous".

• To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

• Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

• If you're good, you'll be assigned all the work. If you're really good, you will get out of it.

• You're always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

• People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

• If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.

• The authority of as person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

• When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

• No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

• The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.