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Jokes Home : Political : Recent Quips From Late Night
"Bush is in command. When he heard that sectarian militias had killed Iraqis, he called for an immediate invasion of Sectaria."
"Give her credit, Anna Nicole Smith made a compelling case. So good, in fact, that Clarence Thomas couldn't keep his eyes off exhibits A and B."
"Actually, they're going to hold off on that Dubai ports deal for 45 days while Congress debates it. 45 days, well that's good. Those problems in the Middle East tend to clear up pretty quickly"
"Earlier today at the White House, President Bush met with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. There was an awkward moment when Bush asked 'How long until the new season of The Sopranos?'"
"Looks like some kind of civil war brewing in Iraq. Well, who could have seen that coming? That came out of left field, huh? They say it is total chaos over there. People are roaming the streets with guns. It's like everyone is Dick Cheney now."
"An Arab company might take over six American ports. President Bush says that he did not know of the plan. That is just so out of character."
"Apparently President Charles In Charge did not know about this whole thing until the story broke in the newspapers. You know, you could say Ronald Reagan was asleep at the switch. At least he knew there was a switch."
"In a speech outlining his energy program, President Bush said the United States is on the verge of a technological breakthrough that will startle most Americans. I think most Americans would be startled to know the president has an energy program."
"President Bush is letting an Arab company run ports. That's like letting Robert Blake take your wife to dinner. President Bush said that the port deal is not a security threat. That's what he said, this is not a security threat. Remember, this is the same guy who said 'Mission Accomplished.'"
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