A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin. Somebody asked her how that could be possible.

'Well,' she said. 'The first time I married an octogenarian and he died before we could consummate the marriage.'

'The second time I married a naval officer and war broke out on our wedding day.'

'The third time I married a Microsoft Windows programmer and he just sat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how good it was going to be.'