Customer: "Hello, is this tech support?"
Tech Support: "Yes, it is; what is the nature of the problem you're having?"

Customer: "I can't seem to power this thing up."
Tech Support: "If you are unable to boot your computer, sir, I suggest you contact the manufacturer. This is Internet technical support."

Customer: "Computer?"
Tech Support: "Yes, your computer."

Customer: "I don't have a computer."
Tech Support: "What is the item you are having difficulty with?"

Customer: "My new lawn mower."
Tech Support: (stifling a giggle) "Sir, you have reached Internet technical support. I suggest you double-check the number and try again."

Customer: "No, I'm sure I got it right. Are you going to send anybody out to fix this damn thing?"
Tech Support: "Sir, we do not support lawn mowers. Please check the number and try it again."

Customer: "What kind of *@#%! service is this? *&$#^ you! I wasn't born yesterday, you know!" (click)